Sunday, January 1, 2017

"Greener Pastures"

It's January 1st. It's so crazy to me to think that 2016 has flown by, and looking back it seems like I blinked and it was gone.

2016 was a year full of change for me. I changed a lot emotionally. A lot of my friendships had changed, some for the better and some for the worst. Some grew closer and some grew more distant. My marriage grew for the better, my family dynamics changed, and I realized where I wanted to go in this lifetime. For the first time, I knew without a doubt, that my "dreams" were starting to become a reality. It's funny that I write that because I have started to look at dreams as goals instead. I remember reading or hearing somewhere that in order to make your dreams a reality, you needed to stop looking at them as dreams, but instead as goals. These goals will not always be reachable in a short amount of time, but they are goals that I set and that I will, without a doubt, achieve. Goals that will turn my whimsical "dreams" into my very own reality.

I was inspired by a challenge that was happening all over Instagram last year called, "#100days100blocks" and a lot of the people I followed made 100 different blocks in 100 consecutive days. I thought to myself, wow, I would love to do that challenge, but there is no way I have time to make a block a day for 100 days. Then it dawned on me that I could do it and that I needed to.  I needed to do this not for anyone else, but instead for me. I needed to do something for myself that was meaningful. Something that will challenge me mentally, emotionally, physically. Something real and something just for me.

I have never been one to set a "New Years Resolution," but this year I decided to try something different. After all, last year for me was all about change. Change isn't always bad, and this year I will be embracing all different types of change, good and bad. So why not continue this trend and start something new, something different, create a little change in my daily routine. For the next 100 days, I will be creating one block from Tula Pink's City Sampler 100 Modern Quilt Blocks book. Each block I will make my own, and I want to write about what it means to me. This is a story of my life. Please feel free to follow my story. It might make you laugh, it might make you smile, it might even make you a little sad. But life is full of all different emotions, and I want to share my part with you. My story will be raw, because my feelings and emotions are nothing short of that.

I just feel like everything is falling into place, just perfectly.

I can't wait to share my stories, feelings and experiences with you over the next 100 days. It is because of you my life is so unique. Thank you for following me along on my journey over the next 100 days. I love you so very much for it.

Welcome to my diary.

Day 1:
"Greener Pastures"

I know that everyone has heard or used the phrase, "The grass isn't always greener on the other side." I always understood the concept of what it meant, but I haven't always understood what it really meant. Mostly it is because I am always so resistant and hesitant to change a situation for the fear that it may not always be the better outcome that I anticipate. Recently, I have been contemplating some changes that speak exactly to this idea.  The idea of having a greener pastures means that there is a better, more interesting thing past what is currently happening.

2016 was challenging year for me in so many different ways. I had a really hard time opening up to some of the closer people around me because I had felt like I had been emotionally tried for so long. It almost felt like I had lost control of some of the relationships I had around me and that I just got tired of trying to compete with them. I never really understood why it felt like a competition, but it just did. I also always felt like I tired to make negative situations better, and sometimes my genuine effort fell short. Could I have done things differently? Yes, absolutely. I could have made some better efforts and choices in some of these relationships and I truly believe they would have turned out differently. I really believe that they would be in a different place than they are today. But I am learning, very slowly, that letting some of these things go might be a good thing for me. I still feel hopeful that as I am letting things go, that emotions will heal and those relationships may be rebuilt.  The relationship will always be different, but different isn't always a bad thing. People change, they grow, and they become the type of person that they surround themselves with. I have seen it happen, to my friends, acquaintances, and even myself.

I am excited that 2017 is a new year. It is a fresh start. It is my "Greener Pasture." I get to move forward beyond all the negative things that have happened other this last year and start new. I know that things can't be erased and the past can't be changed, but I know that I get to move forward and make this one of the best years of my life. I get to work towards goals that I have set for myself, I get to experience new parts of life with some of the most wonderful people I could ever imagine. I just couldn't be happier on this other side. The grass is greener in 2017, I can tell. I know because I believe that life is what you make of it. I am going to make the grass in 2017 the greenest yet.


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